I feel as if I’m being tested in all of the ways and It’s not even related to COVID.
I’ve been pushing myself out of my comfort zone lately and can’t help but wonder a few things.
You know how you see people doing things and being successful and it looks like it comes so easily? Sometimes it doesn’t even have to be related to success, it can be simple ordinary things that are seemingly easy for everyone else but you. Do these people push through anxiety and depression? Surely right?
Everyone else has it easier
You start to think things like they have it easier, they have more money, resources, education, etc. You start to think there’s definitely something that gave them an upper hand while you sit there and feel like shit for not being in their shoes. Or simply not being able to do what they do with ease. You give yourself an excuse for why you aren’t where you want to be. The fact of the matter is it’s almost always about YOU and not them. It’s 100 percent your mindset, followed by your actions. And sometimes these things are just HARD, especially if you deal with anxiety.
I’ve felt stuck for so long, like years, and finally started to make changes that actually made a difference in my life. I’d talk about the things I wanted to do and either half ass tried or barely even tried. Making changes is hard and with this comes waves of fear, anxiety and doubt.
For so long, I didn’t even realize the impact anxiety had on me. It had a tighter grip than I realized. The fear it instilled led to inaction and reverting to my comfort zone when I did try to change things.
That is until the last year or so. I’ve been so proud of myself for pushing through things that make me uncomfortable, where in the past I’d want to just quit because it doesn’t feel good. I don’t like feeling anxiety through my entire body as I’m doing the things that scare me.
I’m learning to push through the discomfort. Still, my thoughts go straight to:
Why can’t I just be normal?
Why is this so hard for me and not for others?
I should probably give up (and go right back to my norm/comfort zone)
I start to question if I’m doing the right thing by pushing through or just torturing myself? That’s what it feel it can feel like. Straight up torture. One minute I’m stoked about pushing through an uncomfortable situation and coming out on the other side without backing down or giving up. The other minute, I’m stressed and feeling anxious about having to continue to do this to make progress. This is apparently part of the process.
As Jen Sincero says in her You Are a Bad Ass Every Day book,
“When you commit to transforming your life, you commit to getting very uncomfortable over and over and over again. Befriend the unfamiliar, the risky, the me no wanna. The discomfort means you’re almost there.”
It’s a constant up and down for me. But I believe this type of work, getting uncomfortable and not backing down, is exactly what will be the difference in me creating a life I want to live or settling for one based on my comfort zone. Even if it’s hard as shit sometimes.
If you’ve made it this far, I hope if anything you don’t accept your own limiting beliefs. Don’t confuse your anxiety with intuition. They are not the same and sometimes you have to weed through the bullshit to really find your truth. It’s there, behind all the lies your brain feeds you daily. You can get where you want to be, where all those people are that you think don’t have it as hard (when in fact they likely dealt with similar obstacles).
Stay the course! Meditate, do some yoga, focus on the good (not what could go wrong), do good things, and push yourself through those uncomfortable feelings. Eventually you will come out on the other side, incredibly proud that you pushed through.
Side note, I wrote this one night as I felt down and anxious. The next day by mid day I was already feeling back to normal. Feelings are fleeting and not the end of the world. Please remind yourself of this when you feel hopeless ❤️❤️
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